the GLAMOURIST

No news is good news…

Actually, there is news which happens to be good news but I just couldn’t drum up a better title for this post.

It’s been quite a while since my last post and so much  has changed.  Actually, just one thing, but I like to add more dramatic effect for your reading pleasure. For those who follow my social media accounts may have gathered that I’m expecting and for others who didn’t know this will explain my sudden spike in weight. At the suggestion of my friend, she suggested that I chronicle this pregnancy thing for my rather amusing outlook  on the matter. Maybe it can be of help for current and future expectant mothers. Which leads me back to this dusty cobweb filled corner of the internet … my blog. Come August, I will forever be responsible for another human being. Wow. I’m not sure if scarier words have ever been spoken.  What sick world would allow ME to be in charge of another human being? It was nice when half the burden of taking care of myself was placed on my husband when we got married.

For those who are curious, ones most affected by this change in dynamic is certainly Coco and Unagi. Between their 21+ hour naps, eating and whining schedule..both of them can’t seem to contain their excitement or give two shits about the situation.

So what are all things people need to know? Here is what I have gathered in my short 25 weeks of being pregnant…

  1. There is a special place in hell for ladies who claim to love their pregnancy.  1) they are lying 2) they are lying 3) the hormones are making them delusional
  2. Weight gain is no joke. It should be expected but you can’t help but be depressed when you no longer are able to fit into your skinny jeans.
  3. I’m certain maternity clothes were designed by men with no fashion sense.
  4. There is a lot of etiquette required when dealing with pregnant ladies.  I’ll touch on that later.
  5. Their are really only 2 kinds of (expectant) mothers… Christina Applegate or Mila Kunis (Bad Moms reference).  I think I’m the latter… I can barely keep up with the prenatal gummy vitamin regimen.
  6. I want to know who I need to punch for putting such restrictive guidelines on pregnant people in the US.
  7. Not all are drawbacks… cutting in line and priority seating is certainly a perk.
  8. Pregnancy boobs are a definite plus…for now.

All this pertinent intel is coming from someone who is having a rather easy pregnancy.

BTW, I usually like to close out with an image for your viewing pleasure but this pregnancy has gotten me so lazy.

BTWW,  it’s nice that you can now blame everything on pregnancy.

#stayinspired